Redemption ( A Silent Voice)

How much punishment does one-person receive, to be able to redeem themself? That is the question I asked myself plenty when I was going through my formative years. I was warmly reminded of my journey when watching A Silent Voice.

A Silent Voice is an Anime Movie based on a Manga by the same name. The movie follows 2 characters; one is Shouko Nishimiya - a deaf girl who was bullied in primary school by Shoya Ishida, the second main character. It is very hard to summarise the movie without spoiling chunks of details to the movie and all of the character developments. I highly recommend watching the movie before joining in on the discussion.

This post will not be a movie review but more of a character analysis of why I relate to the character so much.

Shoya was a boy who bullied Shouko due to her being different - this has subtext of Japanese culture not liking people who stands out. Shoya thought that if he bullied Shouko, he will be able to win all of his friends' admiration. He then becomes to bullied victim once Shouka was out of the picture and then slowly realise the error of his ways. Shoya then become isolated from his formal peers and to the world.

The movie start with him wanting to end it all, selling his belongings, giving his money to his mum, quitting his job and counting the days til it reaches his "Final Days". Fortunately, something stoped him and now he has to start from the beginning, the journey to redeem himself.

How will you accept your punishment to redeem yourself? I then asked myself.

We saw the perspective of Shoya in high school, not recognising any of his classmates and teachers, not being able to hear them through the white noise and not being to look at their faces. A once eager boy now a docile teen who is a bit shut off from the world. Slowly, he comes to meet Shouka again in a Sign Language class. Once, he was brash and would hesitate at nothing to bully Shouka, now, wanting to redeem himself, he had regifted her something from their past which Shouka threw away but Shoya kept.

This action have shown how much he had matured from a few years ago, understanding that he had f***** his life and had taken the steps to bring it back. Regifting the book that Shouko used to communicate with the other children is a big sign that he wanted to pick up from where he left off and fix everything. Unfortunately, this was only the start, and, of course, Shouka forgive Shoya and they became friends.

I also had to start over again when I had to move schools during my formative years, I also was the bully who would pick on others in attempts to impress my "friends". Like Shoya, I eventually became the scape goat and I alienated myself from my social circles, believing that I do not deserve to be loved, like Shoya. I also had attempted to end my life once, like Shoya, but fortunately, something stopped me and I restarted my journey, like Shoya. I was lucky to have 1 friend remaining from schooling days whom I held dearly, if you are reading this. Hi L, you mean a lot to me for being there through my dark days to now. I will continue to treasure every moment we have together. Like me, Shoya eventually made friends and slowly start to open up.

Shoya eventually learnt to trust his friends and be vulnerable to the world, it was overwhelming and overbearing, I also remember this moment. Shoya once he was able to tell the truth and be vulnerable, he was able to save Shouko when she was in her darkest moment. I also remember when I was able to save my friends from their darkest moments. When Shoya shed his distrust to the world, he was able to cry, I remember when I could cry in empathy to a sad moment. It was overwhelming. It was much needed and I was able to grow.

How much growing are you able to do to forgive yourself and let yourself be human? Now that is the question I myself.

Shoya was able to grow past his traumas and mend the things that was important to him.

I was able to grow and mend the relationships that means a lot to me. I am now one step closer to being the person I want to be.

Thank you Shoya for being vulnerable. I also thank you for letting me be vulnerable to write this to the selected few eyes.